Marsha Maung:: Freelance graphic designer and writer

Here we go again…another new year, another beginning….a whole new barrage of resolutions and hopes and wishful thinkings. Of course, I am only saying this because I have been resolutely making resolutions for the last 15 years and only one time hitting one target. But I continue making these resolutions because it gives me hope and hope that some day, I will hit more than just one of those darn hard-to-hit targets.

New Home. My own home
I made this resolution consistently over the past 6 years and only this year, it’s realized. I am finally moving out into my new home. although the circumstances under which the new home was obtained (nothing illegal, I can’t very well STEAL a condo from someone, can I?) is less than ideal, it’s still my new home. a home for the kids. My own place.

Quit smoking.
Yes I smoke. Horrible, isn’t it? After all those years of making this resolution, I am still here…making this resolution. So, in year 2006, I WILL frigging stop smoking. I managed to bring the number of ciggies I smoke less now but heck, I just wish that one fine morning, I would wake up without needing my first morning cigarette. I wish that I didn’t have the need to have one last smoke before my head hits the pillows.

Encourage more people to work from home.
Now, this is only the second year that I am making this resolution. In 2005, about 6 of my friends or acquaintances have decided to trade in their office suits or a work at home career. I say HURRAY to them. This year, I hope I will be able to influence others, including my own sister, cousins and good friends, to work from home so that they can spend more time raising their own kids or be with their loved ones.

Finish 2 books
I have 2 books in the pipeline and I hope to finish them off this year and get them published.

Have more time
Funny, isn’t it? When you think of people working from home, you think they have all the time in the world. They don’t. they have less time, actually. So, this year, I want to have more time to myself and my kids instead of slogging it out 24 hours a day in front of the computer for my clients.

Continue gym. – very important to keep healthy body.
 
Be clothes horse – Yeah….right.

Visit my grandmother  - She’s not feeling too well. Dad says she doesn’t have a lot of time on her clock.

Build more partnerships so that I don’t have to do so many things at once!!!

Make more money – Of course! Duh!

Why are they able to bathe themselves in human blood without remorse, without fear, without anxiety? And when caught, what makes them such good liars and perfect-looking people?

I’ve always been a fan of discovery channel and will defy all odds to watch their crime-related and forensic scientific programs. The very fascination with the programs is in wanting to know what goes on in their minds. And as a mother, I want to know what I can do now to prevent (hopefully) the same thing from happening to my boys. I want to know what goes on ‘in there’ so that I will know what to do when confronted (touch wood!) with one.

The making of the criminal: Pauline Parker and Juliet Hulme
After reading through so many criminal stories and watching so many of these programs, I’ve decided (not based on some scientific research or anything, I am much TOO LAZY and too BUSY researching stuff for other people who pays me) that the making of a criminal is based on their genes, upbringing, relationships with others (especially their immediate family members) and mostly, their level of security and confidence in themselves.

You’ll see that criminals are often people who belong to either the lower-income group of families or people who lack closeness with their family members. For example, the very famous and infamous ‘killer teenage couple’, Pauline Parker and Juliet Hulme. One of the things that were so intriguing about their case is that they are ALMOST normal apart from their moms’ behaviors and style of raising their daughters and of course, they both had medical problems that often landed them in hospitals. And the fact that they both belong to different social classes (at that time: 50s, social class is very important) is even more intriguing. Juliet Hulme belongs to a rich and quite successful (to the public) family while Pauline Parker belonged to the lower income family who survived on minimal resources.

But despite their differences in social status, they were both ‘ignored’ or ‘not close’ to their immediate family members. Their parents were busy with their own lives and one or the other had extramarital affairs. For Pauline, it might be easy to see why she became a criminal, but how did Juliet Hulme end up as one as well?

Though Juliet belonged to an aristocratic family, she was often sent far away from her family members. And since she didn’t really have anyone she could consistently count on, she turned to her friends. She didn’t have many close friends except for when Pauline came along. Together, they shared a very vivid and private world. Some thought they were more than friends (as in lesbians) but I think, Pauline and Juliet were seeking refuge in their friendship. one thinks the exact same thing at the exact same time.

Could the parents have prevented the murder of one of the parents (as in Pauline’s mother)? Yes, they could have! Because the parents often threatened the girls with separation, they had no other choice. They had only one another. No parents to speak of, in their minds, and they would rather kill one another or kill the parents who threatened if they were to be separated.

They yearned for each others’ friendship and relied heavily on each others’ support of each other. When their parents couldn’t be there, couldn’t understand, couldn’t see or refused to be there for them, they had each other.
As they each went through depressive period of their lives, they couldn’t see the separation. And if they were to be separated, they would rather die.

These teenage girls could have been saved
In my personal opinion, Pauline Parker and especially Juliet Hulme did not have to end up in jail. They did not have to be branded criminals for the rest of their lives. as far as many of us today are concerned, they are normal teenagers going through the very same problems we, teenagers, go through every day.

And yet….by twist of fate, they are branded criminals….killers….murderers….for the rest of their lives. Because their parents didn’t pay enough attention to the signs of distress whenever their children showed them. Because they didn’t answer when the kids called. Because no one was there for them (except for the co-criminals) when they were depressed, sad, or needed answers.

No one told them that they could expand their knowledge and imagine in another way. Today, Pauline Parker has disappeared after coming out of jail. In the meantime, the should-have-been-saved Juliet Hulme. Today, Juliet Hulme is Anne Perry and has been writing many mystery novels in her home in England. For many years, she refused to give interviews regarding her infamous role in the Parker-Hulme murder but in 1994, she finally said OK. In the interview, she said that her role in the murder was more to do with her sense of loyalty to Pauline. Pauline delivered the first blow to her own mother (Honora Parker) and seeing that the first blow was already delivered, it’s not possible to turn back. And since she did discuss this with Pauline right from the start, it would be disloyal to back out and leave Pauline in the blank…all alone.

It’s just not possible.

So far, Pauline is still at large and it seems that she’s not keen to be interviewed and does not want her past to be dug out. Carrying the huge baggage of brutally murdering her own mother is already bad enough – but not for the rest of her life! As far as anyone can tell, Pauline Parker has turned into a devoted Roman Catholic and lives life as each day is given to her.

Doesn’t it make you wonder….if only things were different?

Marsha
www.marshamaung.com
www.creativejooz.com
www.allmomstuff.com

I was browsing through a newspaper (The Star but don’t know what day) just about 5 minutes or so ago and couldn’t stop myself from doing a headslap. There’s something new for Malaysian viewers to watch and guess what….it’s ANOTHER reality show! My goodness, isn’t this an overload…and maybe overkill? Aren’t we all bored with the astronomous number of reality shows we have now.


This time, it’s a ‘football’ reality show. And then that’s not all – there’s another talent search show!


I am bored of watching reality shows and talent searches. I have to admit that I watched a lot of reality shows but when they started creating Millionaire-looking-for-wife reality shows and plastic surgery reality shows, I tuned out. This is WAY overboard. What, wouldn’t you start thinking whether the next type of reality shows would be along the lines of a woman or man testing out how good a person is in bed or something? It’s ridiculous and inconceivable!


And here we are….yet again, with another reality show with only one aim, to bring the advertisers in and lure the consumers to sit down and watch the show….oh, and the ads.

 

Marsha

www.marshamaung.com

www.allmomstuff.com

It’s something that I often read in the papers….inhumane acts of abusing others. Be it wife, child, maid or dog, nobody who lives and breathe should be subjected to undue hurt, force, injury or pain unnecessarily without justifiable cause. If I had it my way, even plants should be spared.


Because of this soft spot of mine, I hate to go to the wet market. That’s where this Indian buy sits atop the back of a truck pulling a small but sharp knife through the throat of chickens and then dumping them into a huge container. The chickens cluck and flap around in there helplessly, banging against the lid that covers the container. Left to bleed to death. I asked my mother-in-law once why don’t they just CHOP the whole head off at one go without torturing the poor chickens in there! She gave me an answer but I felt so faint about the whole scene that I never heard or maybe I heard it but didn’t accept it…therefore, can’t remember the reason.


After the chickens are dead, the people will yank the already-dead-ones out and pluck out their feathers roughly, yanking bunch by bunch while blood (still warm, I am assuming) continue to flow down the ‘killer’s arms, legs, apron, boots and knife. I remember hoping that the chicken was also dead…if not comatose! The scene was so gory and it makes me feel queasy just talking (or writing) about it.


Maids are human too
But we (the human race) don’t only treat animals this way. We sometimes, a lot of times, treat fellow human beings in the same inhumane and cruel manner. For instance, maids. Maids are considered inferior to us normal people. In society, maids are often a little bit higher up the social ladder than stray dogs. Even pet dogs are more precious than maids!


Which is, in my eyes, ludicrous! Hogwash!


There’s a recent new addition of maid to this household and because of my ability to sit down in the wet kitchen (there’s a dry kitchen further up front) with them during dinner time for a short chat, they tell me stuff. And like the previous maid, she told me that the Malaysian maid agency here did unimaginably cruel things to all the maids there.
They:-

1. Kick and punch the maids every single day, whether they did something wrong or not
   
2. They are stripped (yes, clothes) from head to toe and then photos are taken of them (This is absolutely unacceptable!!)
   
3. They are given one meal a day (if they are lucky). Other times, they are given a huge tub of water and asked to drink the whole tub to prevent hunger.
   
4. Their personal belongings like home phone number, addresses, personal items like gold, fashion accessories, memoirs of home (like photos and letters) are taken away and dumped into the thrash.
   
5. They are left with nothing but a couple of shirts, a short pant, no extra underwear (I can’t believe this one either!!!) and absolutely no personal belonging whatsoever.
   

If I looked at things from the agency’s point of view, it may seem as though they are trying to prepare the maids for the worst. What if their employer was bad and is like that? They get the maids prepared for the worst so that when they get to the employer’s house, they will feel lucky and blessed.


But my angry-side wakes up and fights it – what the heck!!?? No underwear? For the whole friggin’ 2 years? If the maid brings along Indonesian money, the agency takes it….and do what with it? And no food? Aw….come on!!!


These actions are no longer noble or professional. They are inhumane and absolutely unacceptable….not even by ants-standards.


Don’t you agree?


Marsha
www.marshamaung.com
www.allmomstuff.com
www.creativejooz.com

I love the piano and have spent my childhood days dreaming about playing wondering music and composing songs. Because I have this gift musically, I didn’t speak to my parents for close to a week, I think, because they sold my organ off. I didn’t know then but now I do – my parents had financial problems and selling off the piano was an option I think they didn’t want to (but have to) make.

But I swear to you…I was the maddest kid on the block for a long, long, LONG time!!

So, off Joshua goes to music class. This is not the first time he’s going to attend music class. The first music class he went to was under Musikgarten program. I have very good reviews about Musikgarten but they teach a whole lot of singing, dancing and drama in the classes. So, after about a year of classes under Musikgarten, I suppose I decided that Joshua’s reaped enough benefits through their program. In attending the music class, he’s come out of his very solitary shell and has become more confident and vocal about things. Like when I shout at him unreasonably (bad PMS mom in action), he will sniff silently and tell me, “Mom, you shouldn’t just simply shout at me”. The first time he told me that, it stunned me silent. Then I ran to him and gave him a big hug, telling him, “You’re right, Josh. I shouldn’t. I am so, so, sorry!”

So, yeah, the music class, the drama, the dancing and singing DID do him a lot of good. But now, I want him to go a step further. To learn how to PLAY a musical instrument. The first thing that comes to mind is….as usual, the keyboard or the piano. Think musical instrument, piano comes to mind. Don’t ask me why and I am guilty of this very same thinking.

And yet when I went to the music class with Josh and he stares at a young teen playing a guitar in the shop (probably practicing before class), he pointed at the teen and told me. “I think I want to learn how to play the guitar”.

My first thought was….”What? You don’t want to play the piano? Why not? it makes a beautiful sound and I like the piano and I desperately want to learn how to play the piano. Why not you?”

Then I snapped out of the dream-state and said to Josh, “Sure thing, Josh. You’re a little bit young for the guitar but let me try to sweet-talk your new teacher in accepting you as a student, ok?” And my sweet talk worked.

I got past myself in accepting the fact that my son is not playing the conventional piano but others have not.

A certain relative and her husband snigger and chuckle every time they see me and Josh lugging the guitar around. They’re like saying, “You’re really serious about this? What makes you think you can do this? Josh? Playing the guitar? Why not the piano? It’s not going to work, Marsha”

But they’re not the only one, elderly people have this ingrained perception that the guitar is not a proper musical instrument too. They continue to think and imagine the guitar as the kind of toy people bring around and strum aimlessly on during campfires. But with a piano, you can make a living, you can play in an orchestra or become someone….prominent. With a guitar, you don’t.

Eh, you never heard of Santana or Four Play, is it? They make bigger buckaroos than those people in orchestra, I would like to assume.

So, I say, let Josh make the decision. If he wants to switch to another musical instrument later on, let him. Don’t tell him he can’t without letting him try, right?

Marsha
www.marshamaung.com
www.creativejooz.com
www.allmomstuff.com

My husband and his family members have been staying here, the house that we’re currently residing in, for decades! Decades! And when they bought the house, this place is a budding city with promises of being one of the most developed areas in our State. True enough, it has become so.

This area (I shall name it MyCity) is now one of the best place to raise a family and at every corner, there’s either a supermarket or a convenience store. There’s a popular mall here that people from every other places in Kuala Lumpur come to and sometimes, it might even seem as though the world is here. It’s a torture, sometimes, but I am proud to be a part of MyCity and have decided that this is where I want to raise my kids. This is going to be my city, my home town. I love it.

But there is a dark side. Because of the growth that is spreading throughout MyCity, illegal workers also want a piece of the pie and the worst thing is that they have a settlement over here right in front of MyHouse (the house that I am currently living in, my husband’s family’s home).

A place that used to be the perfect place to raise a family, in the past decade, has turned into Living Hell! In front of my house, there’s a settlement or kampong whereby lots of foreign workers or illegal workers come to set up their base. Their little kampong houses are sometimes even bigger than ours because they get their materials cheap, no need to pay licenses and labor…they build their own, don’t they? Anyway, as the years go on, I have seen how they have progressed from building single story, one-room wooden houses to the now three-storey brick houses with ‘hostels’ on the ground floor.

Illegals who come here without visa or permit will come to this little kampong and get a place to stay in the ‘hostels’ because the owner of the house likes helping his own kind. I understand that but this makes our place very dangerous to stay in.

There are illegals walking around in front of our houses all the time. Over the past 7 years I have been staying here, we’ve lost countless items. I have lost 5 pairs of shoes to illegals who climb over our gates and take our brand new shoes. Oh, they’re smart enough to leave the old ones behind. My kids have lost 3 pairs of shoes…Joshua – 2 and Jared – 1. My husband lost 2 pairs and I can’t remember the pairs of shoes others have lost – my father-in-law, mother-in-law and brother-in-law. One time, we caught an illegal (his wife waiting outside) taking out ladder from our yard! My maid screamed and he ran! But we know how he looks like now.

And then we’ve lost a bicycle. Since we have an automatic gate, I applaud them because it couldn’t have been easy to haul a bicycle (an old one with those silly-looking handlebars and a basket to boot) up the gate and pass it on to the other person outside the gate. We’ve lost a light bulb too, only recently. In its place, we found an old pajama which the robber must have used to turn the light bulb with because of the rain. Or maybe they decided to strip in the middle of the robbery, who knows what they’re thinking. Maybe stealing is kinky!!??

Oh, and we’ve lost tools like hammers and stuff and my husband got his car stolen about one and a half years ago too! My husband spent the one whole month of carlessness swearing. The inconvenience.

When my husband and his siblings were young, this house was broken into. My brother-in-law was awakened and pushed into my sister-in-law’s room and thank goodness my sister-in-law acted quickly. She had a large, huge (it’s MASSIVE I am telling you) baseball bat (not even a baseball bat because it’s too huge) that she used to knock the lights out of the intruder. He ran screaming…and my father-in-law (I think) ran screaming after him. But he was one of those ‘orang minyak’ (men who put oil all over their bodies so that they are not so easily caught) so, we didn’t catch the guy. I think there was an accomplice. Can’t be too sure.

And my neighbor moved away some time back, about a year ago, because there was an intruder who scared the living daylights out of her. The husband was at home with the kids and the wife just came home. She opened the gate and walked into the house with her handbag. A man came in from behind her, used a helmet to knock her right in front of her door and tried to pull the handbag away from her. She hung on and screamed. Her husband who was in the living room sprung into action and they fled on a motorbike.

And then there was this one time my mother-in-law took the kids out to the field (padang) nearby and she was carrying Jared. We had two bicycles, she was on one of them, carrying Jared (I think) and another maid was with her carrying two other kids. She was merely chatting up with her long-time friend when someone on a motorbike yanked her gold chain from behind giving her a nasty burn on her neck. They took the chain and left a befuddled and terrified mother-in-law, maid, neighbor and kids trudging home fearfully.

I love MyCity but the location of MyHouse has become impossible. Just yesterday, we found out that my husband found out that someone went into his car (we leave it unlock sometimes when the car is parked inside the house compound) and took his touch-n-go and SmartTag! That’s a couple of hundred dollars worth of toll fees in there and the cost of the cards and the tag?? In total, I think that’s already RM320 gone….just like that!

It’s just the thought of people coming into the house compound so easily, helping themselves to the stuff we have out on the compound makes me sick to my stomach. Everytime I want to open the gate, I am scared.

Thank goodness we’re going to be moving to a new place soon.

Title: Sari & Sins
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
ISBN No: 0-7434-3046-8
Ratings: 3.8 stars

One crazy woman and two very obvious couples. That’s what Sari & Sins by Nisha Minhas is all about.


The highlight of Sari & Sins
The cross culture reference is undeniable. Since we have Indians here in Malaysia, I am not unfamiliar with the Indian culture. And since my work often requires me to mingle with and communicate with people from the West, I am not unfamiliar with their culture either. So, here I am, sitting here, reading about these two cultures and how chaotic it would be if they were meshed together.


Although my aunts are both married to ‘gwai-lows’ (white people), I am not privy to their constant miscommunications and besides, my aunts lived in the UK for some time and have been exposed to the lifestyle of being English. Therefore, I suspect they didn’t have the kind of problems that the people/characters in the book, Sari & Sins, had.


But then again…we’re Chinese…and Chinese have long stopped picking spouses for their own kids a long time ago.


The wicked witch
As I said, there’s one single witch (and her aid), Chloe, who is totally out of this world. She’s deranged and psychotic. She is written out to be so villainous that I often imaged her befitting of a role in ‘Dallas’ or ‘Dynasty’. Sorry, that’s a series from my era but this is the best I can do. I have not been watching many shows or series except for TVB ones for such a long time. TV is a waste of time for me.


But anyway, Chloe, is raised by a strict Catholic mother who makes her swear holding the bible. Chloe’s mother thinks she’s a virgin and wants her to remain so until she gets married. Her virginity is sacred to her and she spent a large part of her life ensuring that her daughter is brought up right. She did the right thing – the wrong way. Not only is Chloe not a virgin, she’s slept with almost all men in her side of the world.


Hence, Chloe turned out to be a psychotic woman whose only wish and dream is to control men. And she has this thing about having a house that I cannot fathom.


Couple 1: Samir (Sammy) and Kareena
Samir’s parents picked a wife for him and this resulted in him marrying Kareena. He’s handsome and she’s beautiful. He’s rich and she’s kind and loving. No suspence and no faults whatsoever. This is an obvious couple that upon reading the first few introductory lines about them, you know they’re going to be together in the end.


Samir’s only fault is that he thinks he loves Chloe. Or a better way to say this is that Chloe managed to wrap Samir around her itty bitty finger making him think that he’s actually in love with her. All this while, all Chloe wanted the house that Samir could provide, his dedication and his commitment. So, began their cross-culture relationship. A son of a strict Singh family and a daughter of a strict Catholic family.


Couple 2: Jordan & Zara
Jordan is supposed to be the BAD BOY in the book with a criminal record. Sometimes, Nisha Minhas writes him out to be the kind of man who would not pause before he swings an axe in your direction. And then it’s like she’s not sure how Jordan is supposed to be like and he becomes all mushy. Zara is merely a supporting role in Sari & Sins. She’s a shopaholic who is HONESTLY and GENUINELY in love with Jordan.


The triangle
Somehow, Chloe manages to bounce between Jordan and Samir making both of them think that she’s crazy in love with them when she was hooked on Jordan’s commitment to her and Samir’s house (and security). Jordan hung on to his past (he was her boyfriend for some time in their youth and went to jail for her) and Samir hung on to the sex and excitement.


Chloe just wanted both men to be in love with her. And when they both found their own loves and decided that Chloe was not the one, she went bananas. SHE would do the dumping. It’s NOT possible for Jordan to stop loving her. The house that Samir is living in with his wife now is HER house.


Nisha Minhas writes well…but the storyline needs ironing
I must admit that Nisha Minhas writes well – articulate and smart, her writing projects that. but this doesn’t mean that the story is good.


For instance, the parents are all people who raise their kids badly. Jordan doesn’t have a family, Samir’s parents are crazy about the Singh culture and refuses to let go of their religion – not even for their sons. Chloe’s mom, Aileen, is even worse. What she did to her own daughter, she should suffer for it. There were lots of familiar Indian terms and words that were sprinkled all around the book that makes the book all the more interesting for me. I can only imagine people in the US running around asking their friends what ‘Chappatti’ means.


The reason why Chloe has this unexplainable obsession with the house is not comprehensible. Why a house? Security? It was never explained. And Mickey, the loser guy from Samir’s firm, his character is so loosely explained.

The title of the book and the synopsis at the back of the book screams CAT FIGHT. But it became very obvious a little bit later on that Kareena is no match for Chloe. How do you pitch a sane and peaceful girl against a lunatic?

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I am a big fan of TVB shows. And I no longer spend time ogling men instead of appreciating the value and quality of the show. I spend a lot of time admiring the actors and actresses too. Being creative in nature, I like anything that’s beautiful…and to me, Michelle Yip is beautiful.

It’s got more to do with her style, her behavior and character…rather than just her looks alone. Michelle Yip Suen is her full name. She was born on Valentine’s Day (something I’ve stopped celebrating since college days…strange, isn’t it?). Michelle Yip was born in China (don’t know where) in 1980. That makes her about 7 years younger than me. Michelle Yip Suen cart wheeled into the HK entertainment circle when she won the coveted Miss Chinese International title. There were other more conventionally more beautiful women contesting at that time and her win was a surprise for almost everyone. She had a smile that won hearts and eyes that electrified. She won because she was smart and outwitted others. Her smile is genuine and her speech clear and concise. Her personality is fun-loving, cute and kind.

And THAT won her the title.

After entering the HK entertainment business, she’s improved a whole lot. I remember first seeing her act in her first TVB series….to say the least, I was disgusted. I thought to myself, “Heck, isn’t the singing industry already bad enough? Now, they have terribly actresses who look half good on camera who can’t act even if you had a knife to their throats” But through the years, Michelle Yip challenged opinions like mine and have developed and thrived as a budding actress.

Today, she is quite formidable in her portrayals as different characters in series and movies. Currently (2005) she released her new series with Patrick Tse and also a new movie with Leon Lai.

This 5’5” actress, Michelle Yip is from a broken marriage. I guess you could say that her independence changed my view of her. Her parents divorced when she was very young. She neither lived her mom or her dad. She was raised by a relative in China and she was independent most of the time. This is not a sad story she cooked up to win hearts over. As I can see from her personality and character (I don’t know her personally, but I read a lot, remember that and I am extremely resourceful on the Internet with videos and published articles), because of her childhood, she’s learnt how to survive the entertainment industry. Even when others called her ‘power house’ (cause she was thought to be constantly on a prowl for men), she didn’t respond and persisted with her career. Even when people say she can’t act, she did her best to change their minds. Through many difficulties (even today), she forges on with her career.

Michelle Yip is not afraid to make changes in her life. When she thought that TVB wasn’t giving her much credit for her work and that they did not appreciate her talents, Michelle made a very controversial decision – she left TVB, leaving behind her good friends (three of them being Rain Lau, Raymond Lam and Myolie Wu) and decided to create another career for herself.

While many others satback and wait for the axe to fall or wait for TVB to change their minds, Michelle Yip took it in her stride and changed direction. She’s not one to wait for things to happen – she MADE things happen.


So, today, she’s got a contract with ATV and also have started entering the BIG screen instead of the small screen.


To me, Michelle Yip is a go-getter. A very different kind of actress who is proactive and very energetic. I have seen videos of her sick with eye problems, fever, sorethroat and even an ankle injury…and yet she persisted with her work.

Discipline and dedication is the very core of Michelle Yip. And I have to say that I admire her…but not because she’s beautiful (she is…but) but because she’s gutsy!

Note: this is just a personal opinion, nobody has to agree with me and everyone have their own favorites.

marsha
www.marshamaung.com

I don’t believe in good for nothing.


I was walking down the aisle of a large supermarket when I heard a mother hissing to her crying child, “Good for nothing! Nothing! You better stop this now or I will leave you with the police man”. Not that I am angel when it comes to being a parent to my kids. Sometimes, I falter too and I will yell and shout and throw a massive, scary temper and my kids would cower in fright thinking that their mom was going crazy. Hey, I am human, amn’t I?

But I would never call my kids stupid or good for nothing.

For one thing, I sincerely believe that education is important – but it’s not everything. We, as parents, have to carry this grave responsibility of providing our children with education. Not only do we have to fund it, we have to ensure that they learn whatever they can learn from the education system so that they can benefit from it later on in life.

Knowledge is a funnel.
A funnel whereby information can flow into and train a mind to think and react in a certain knowledgeable way. It’s important.

But frankly, I don’t think it’s everything.

Listening to their cues
What’s more important to us, parents, is the listening skill, not directing or bossing skill. We need to learn how to take cues from our kids, open up gates and doors and let them explore and watch them. Watch how they are taking in the vast opportunities that are being presented to them. Do they like it? Are they interested? Is this their calling? Is this their gift? This is what goes through my mind whenever I introduce something new to my kids. We, parents, should not try to force something…ANYTHING…on to our kids.

As much as I hate being forced to do something (I quit the banking world for a reason, didn’t I?), I won’t force my kids to do something that they don’t like. Of course, there are things that they HAVE to do (like homework, cleaning up, showering, good manners…etc), I also have to bear the responsibility of ensuring that they are well disciplined and yet free to explore the world. But in other respects non-related to their safety and general well-being, force is not my style.

Even the worst kid in school can do well
I believe we all know of geniuses who have made it far beyond our human comprehension. People who we, today, claim as geniuses were called ‘buffoons’ in their early days. Let’s take Albert Einstein as an example. His teacher thought he was a complete loser and yet today, the world think and knows FOR A FACT that he is and was a genius. Even in death, he made a difference not only in his own life…but to the rest of the world too.
While we should not expect our child to be Einstein or paint like Da Vinci, we should always be on a lookout for their gift.

The gift…everyone has one
Everyone has a gift, God is fair. One person may fare well in math while the other did terribly. But if you look close enough, you’ll see that the second child who can’t count for nuts can paint like no one else! No one is born without a gift, which is what I believe. Some people have multiple gifts and are multi-talented in nature but no one in this world is without one.

Parents should set out to find out the gift of their child. It could be anything! ANYTHING! Like Don who loves cleaning out closets and is meticulous in arranging stuff – he’s a good accountant today. Like Gina who loves to play in the playground instead of doing her homework – she’s one of the most popular kids’ football team coaches in her country today. And Simon who was so weak in math that his mother almost told him to leave the house and never come back – he’s a professor in Philosophy today.

Think about it
No one is good for nothing. Even trees or worms are good for something. Trees give us oxygen and some serve as food. Worms digs holes in the ground and helps trees grow. Even bacteria are good at something. Bacteria can actually benefit our health. What about mud? Think mud pack? Everything is good for something….why not your child? Your job, as a parent, is to find that ‘good’, find that talent.

And perhaps, maybe it’s got nothing to do with education.

The Testament
John Grisham
Publisher: Arrow Books
Year: 1999

Overall ratings: 3 stars.

General Overview of the Book: The Testament by John Grisham
Grisham’s produced much better work before, let’s admit this and get it out of the way. His earlier works had me spellbound from page to page and relentlessly had me hooked till the very end. Being a law graduate, I naturally found it enticing and sometimes wished that I was in the world of legal chaos too.

Troy Phelan is a self-made billionaire who is tired of life, tired of chasing money and chasing skirts. He’s had three ex wives with children and half of America’s female population is his playground. He’s played them and paid them. But even a rich man can be too rich for his own good. Before he kicks his own bucket, he writes a controversial will, a testament that leaves everything to one person. And that person is not one of his known children nor wives. One Rachel Lane inherits eleven BILLION dollars from a drained-out billionaire who decides that enough is finally enough.


One man whose life is in shambles.
A lawyer with his life rotting away like a gaping wound, Nate knew that his career as a high-flying litigator is over. His constant battle with substance abuse, divorce and neglect of his family is his downfall. He tried to kill himself a couple of times because of depression and his lawyer-boss, Josh Stratton, is finally throwing out the ropes for one final time.
With the new case in hand, the Troy Phelan testament, who better to go look for a woman in the jungle of Amazon. No booze. No women. No cigarettes. Just lots of tress. PERFECT. Being a good friend and not having too many other choices, Josh Stratton sent Nate O’Reily packing and hiking into the Jungle to find Rachel Lane, the rich heiress.


Don’t take me away from my contentment, my calling
If you think it’s not possible for anyone to say “I don’t want eleven billion dollars’, you’re wrong. Try saying it aloud…I don’t want eleven billion dollars. There, see? Feel that feeling of utter stupidity? Now, here’s one single woman who has inherited the treasure trove that the rest of the Phelan clan is eyeing and vulturing over and she tells Nate….”I don’t want the money”.

But considering the kind of life that Rachel has led, it’s not impossible. She’s raised by her foster parents after her father (whom she never knew was Troy Phelan until when she was older) left her mom, and her mom died, she dedicated her life to God. Her life’s mission is to spread the message of God to the people who have no access to information and who live in the remote jungles of the Amazon jungle. People who still cover their genitals will pouches and leave their breasts hanging out around without a care.

Rachel Lane has found her calling, it’s something most of us go buried without ever finding. And imagine this – if you’ve found your calling, it’s not hard to imagine saying “I don’t want your money. Take it and leave me alone”.
Who’d have the heart to remove a woman from her calling and her contentment?


The vultures
The vultures, naturally, are Troy Phelan’s children, a whole gangbang of misfits, and ex-wives. Their fleets and fleets of lawyers and psychiatrists are horribly pathetic if not funny. One attack after another falls apart. They pitch against each other and the decide to get together. They’d rather be spat on than to be found sitting with each other in an amicable talk.

Despite the sorry state of their affairs, they deserve sympathy at some point. John Grisham realizes that they can’t be all that bad and if they’re bad, someone’s to blame. And you blame the dead cause they can’t talk and they don’t care. The sorry state was Troy Phelan’s own doing. His wives did what they did because he couldn’t care less about them and was busy building his empire and dressing down women, in particular, his secretaries. His children became such bums because they didn’t have his love. They craved for his attention and never got it because Troy Phelan, the BILLIONAIRE, was too busy making more billions.

So, yes, I guess you can say that Troy Phelan DID indeed screw up his own life.

Good but not that good
 I’ve read better from John Grisham and being familiar with his books and his style, I believe this comes close to a half-hearted effort from John Grisham. This book was probably a result of his trips into the Pantanal regions within the Amazon jungle. Grisham proclaims his love for this part of the world and therefore, this book, this baby is the result.
Some parts of the book were a mere panoramic overview of the place. The slow and steady velocity of the river, the storms, the spears in hands of people in less cloth than a baby in napkin, the kind of food they eat there…etc. if this was a movie, I would have expected this to be a National Geographic-like thing….you know, a movie inspired by nature and….tourism!

The speed and pace of the book pretty much depended on the focus of the book. Whenever the focus was on the children, it was heady and chaotic. Whenever the book was Josh Stratton, it’s high-strung. Whenever it’s Nate, it’s slow and steady. You’d have to adjust your speed-readometer quite a couple of times throughout this book.


It’s an interesting book, yes, it is. It’s not horrible. But like I said, I’ve read much better work from Grisham.