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31/12/2005

2006….a new year…AGAIN!

Here we go again…another new year, another beginning….a whole new barrage of resolutions and hopes and wishful thinkings. Of course, I am only saying this because I have been resolutely making resolutions for the last 15 years and only one time hitting one target. But I continue making these resolutions because it gives me hope and hope that some day, I will hit more than just one of those darn hard-to-hit targets.


New Home. My own home
I made this resolution consistently over the past 6 years and only this year, it’s realized. I am finally moving out into my new home. although the circumstances under which the new home was obtained (nothing illegal, I can’t very well STEAL a condo from someone, can I?) is less than ideal, it’s still my new home. a home for the kids. My own place.


Quit smoking.
Yes I smoke. Horrible, isn’t it? After all those years of making this resolution, I am still here…making this resolution. So, in year 2006, I WILL frigging stop smoking. I managed to bring the number of ciggies I smoke less now but heck, I just wish that one fine morning, I would wake up without needing my first morning cigarette. I wish that I didn’t have the need to have one last smoke before my head hits the pillows.


Encourage more people to work from home.
Now, this is only the second year that I am making this resolution. In 2005, about 6 of my friends or acquaintances have decided to trade in their office suits or a work at home career. I say HURRAY to them. This year, I hope I will be able to influence others, including my own sister, cousins and good friends, to work from home so that they can spend more time raising their own kids or be with their loved ones.


Finish 2 books
I have 2 books in the pipeline and I hope to finish them off this year and get them published.


Have more time
Funny, isn’t it? When you think of people working from home, you think they have all the time in the world. They don’t. they have less time, actually. So, this year, I want to have more time to myself and my kids instead of slogging it out 24 hours a day in front of the computer for my clients.


Continue gym. – very important to keep healthy body.
 
Be clothes horse – Yeah….right.

Visit my grandmother  - She’s not feeling too well. Dad says she doesn’t have a lot of time on her clock.

Build more partnerships so that I don’t have to do so many things at once!!!

Make more money – Of course! Duh!

03:15 Posted in Blog , Ramblings | Permalink | Comments (13) | Email this | Tags: new year, resolution, 2006, hope, wish, resolutions, new year resolutions

27/12/2005

What makes someone a criminal?

Why are they able to bathe themselves in human blood without remorse, without fear, without anxiety? And when caught, what makes them such good liars and perfect-looking people?

I’ve always been a fan of discovery channel and will defy all odds to watch their crime-related and forensic scientific programs. The very fascination with the programs is in wanting to know what goes on in their minds. And as a mother, I want to know what I can do now to prevent (hopefully) the same thing from happening to my boys. I want to know what goes on ‘in there’ so that I will know what to do when confronted (touch wood!) with one.

The making of the criminal: Pauline Parker and Juliet Hulme
After reading through so many criminal stories and watching so many of these programs, I’ve decided (not based on some scientific research or anything, I am much TOO LAZY and too BUSY researching stuff for other people who pays me) that the making of a criminal is based on their genes, upbringing, relationships with others (especially their immediate family members) and mostly, their level of security and confidence in themselves.

You’ll see that criminals are often people who belong to either the lower-income group of families or people who lack closeness with their family members. For example, the very famous and infamous ‘killer teenage couple’, Pauline Parker and Juliet Hulme. One of the things that were so intriguing about their case is that they are ALMOST normal apart from their moms’ behaviors and style of raising their daughters and of course, they both had medical problems that often landed them in hospitals. And the fact that they both belong to different social classes (at that time: 50s, social class is very important) is even more intriguing. Juliet Hulme belongs to a rich and quite successful (to the public) family while Pauline Parker belonged to the lower income family who survived on minimal resources.

But despite their differences in social status, they were both ‘ignored’ or ‘not close’ to their immediate family members. Their parents were busy with their own lives and one or the other had extramarital affairs. For Pauline, it might be easy to see why she became a criminal, but how did Juliet Hulme end up as one as well?

Though Juliet belonged to an aristocratic family, she was often sent far away from her family members. And since she didn’t really have anyone she could consistently count on, she turned to her friends. She didn’t have many close friends except for when Pauline came along. Together, they shared a very vivid and private world. Some thought they were more than friends (as in lesbians) but I think, Pauline and Juliet were seeking refuge in their friendship. one thinks the exact same thing at the exact same time.

Could the parents have prevented the murder of one of the parents (as in Pauline’s mother)? Yes, they could have! Because the parents often threatened the girls with separation, they had no other choice. They had only one another. No parents to speak of, in their minds, and they would rather kill one another or kill the parents who threatened if they were to be separated.

They yearned for each others’ friendship and relied heavily on each others’ support of each other. When their parents couldn’t be there, couldn’t understand, couldn’t see or refused to be there for them, they had each other.
As they each went through depressive period of their lives, they couldn’t see the separation. And if they were to be separated, they would rather die.

These teenage girls could have been saved
In my personal opinion, Pauline Parker and especially Juliet Hulme did not have to end up in jail. They did not have to be branded criminals for the rest of their lives. as far as many of us today are concerned, they are normal teenagers going through the very same problems we, teenagers, go through every day.

And yet….by twist of fate, they are branded criminals….killers….murderers….for the rest of their lives. Because their parents didn’t pay enough attention to the signs of distress whenever their children showed them. Because they didn’t answer when the kids called. Because no one was there for them (except for the co-criminals) when they were depressed, sad, or needed answers.

No one told them that they could expand their knowledge and imagine in another way. Today, Pauline Parker has disappeared after coming out of jail. In the meantime, the should-have-been-saved Juliet Hulme. Today, Juliet Hulme is Anne Perry and has been writing many mystery novels in her home in England. For many years, she refused to give interviews regarding her infamous role in the Parker-Hulme murder but in 1994, she finally said OK. In the interview, she said that her role in the murder was more to do with her sense of loyalty to Pauline. Pauline delivered the first blow to her own mother (Honora Parker) and seeing that the first blow was already delivered, it’s not possible to turn back. And since she did discuss this with Pauline right from the start, it would be disloyal to back out and leave Pauline in the blank…all alone.

It’s just not possible.

So far, Pauline is still at large and it seems that she’s not keen to be interviewed and does not want her past to be dug out. Carrying the huge baggage of brutally murdering her own mother is already bad enough – but not for the rest of her life! As far as anyone can tell, Pauline Parker has turned into a devoted Roman Catholic and lives life as each day is given to her.

Doesn’t it make you wonder….if only things were different?

Marsha
www.marshamaung.com
www.creativejooz.com
www.allmomstuff.com

20:05 Posted in Being human | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this | Tags: criminals, crime, mind, forensic, history, murder, kill, killing