Marsha Maung:: Freelance graphic designer and writer

Disgustedly, I continue to observe the rise in number rape cases in the country. Worse yet, most of these rape cases are done by family members! I think it is sickening and my stomach churn and threaten to throw out remnants of last night’s dinner. Imagine the effort required to bring these girls back on track – back to believing that they can trust the people who are closest to them.

 

I try to make a very wild guess about why these girls are raped by their brothers and fathers, uncles and grandfathers even (Yikes!!!) and I conclude that there are many reasons but pornographic VCDs are one of the minor ones. The major problem with rape is lack of sex education.

 

In our culture, sex is like…taboo…it’s a reticent, mysterious, therefore, it transforms into something enigmatic and magnetic. Like they always say, the harder it is to get a woman, the more ‘intrigued’ a man will be. That’s why women play hard to get, right? It’s the same theory for sex. The less we talk about it, the more importance we place on it being a taboo subject, the more intrigued with it the young will be. The more nonchalant we are about it, the more relaxed kids or fascinated with it the kids will be – the lower the chance of them being drawn to rape their siblings or female relatives!

 

I don’t understand why Asians have this belief that parents do NOT talk to kids about sex. I mean, sex is a very natural thing – it happens to most of us and it happens in the animal kingdom. We reproduce kids through sex (with intervention of technology, there are other ways but it’s less conventional, wouldn’t you say?) and this should be discussed. Liberally tell them how they came about – they don’t come out from stones or boulders and the stork didn’t bring them. They didn’t suddenly appear or grow from a plant. Along with the discussion, we should also discuss the repercussions.

 

Back to point, rape. Most of these youngsters (even oldsters) blame porn VCDs or videos in court when charged with rape. Because their female relative is ‘convenient’, they become the victim of ‘convenience’. While pornographic material is a contributing factor as to why these men rape their own flesh and blood – it’s not the major factor. We keep ‘sex’ in such a veiled light that it sometimes becomes such a stupidly enormous mystery that they feel compelled to give in to their libido.

 

Sure, rape is rampant everywhere but the rise in the number of rape within the family in Malaysia is frighteningly alarming. The only way out is to educate those kids about sex, why, how and what. We should also let them in on the main purpose of sex and also IF they did it (which is not encouraged), what they should do to prevent dire results. And young girls should be taught how to prevent these things from happening to them, how to protect themselves and bring justice to those who did this despicable act to them.

 

Ever heard of the saying “God works in mysterious ways”. Well, agree. But so does the brain? The gray matter, so it seems, works in ways sometimes we cannot understand at all. My cousin, Jamie (yes, it’s him again) emailed me this. Despite chasing after deadlines long gone, I decided that…what the heck, I need a break, anyway.

 

And it blew my mind! That’s why…don’t believe David Copperfield. If a simple ‘gif’ image can illustrate our ‘weak’ our mind is, then so can David Copperfield and the troops of masterminds behind each and every one of his tricks.

 

Check this one out. Click on picture to view large version

If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink.

 

However. if you stare at the black "+" in the center,
the moving dot turns to green.

Now, concentrate on the black "+" in the center of the picture.
After a short period, all the pink dots will slowly disappear, and you will only see a green dot rotating.

It's amazing how our brain works. There really is no green dot, and the pink ones really don't disappear. This should be proof enough, we don't always see what we think we see.

The price of petrol goes up…once again! Accordingly, Malaysians enjoy quite cheap petrol prices compared to many developed countries. But still…as a citizen who is ENJOYING the slight advantage we have over other developed nation, it still hurts like mad to know that the price of petrol will be hitched up another notch and we’ll all have to prepare ourselves to pay more for….basically everything! From chicken to computer mouse, from hamster food to CDs. the cost of transporting goods will go up and the consumer bears the brunt of this very cruel joke.

 

But this is life….but I rather enjoyed the article in today’s The Star on the rising cost of living.

 

Global Cost of living statistics

 

Accordingly, Tokyo and Osaka are among the most expensive cities to live in; but the quality of their life is very high. I know we’re heading in that direction although we’re not as ‘cheap’ like Paraguay (which is the cheapest city in the world). I heard that ‘some’ Indonesians need only spend about RM1.00 (USD$0.25) a day to keep a family of four alive! Amazing, isn’t it? All they get to eat is vegetable of the second-rate variety together with rice provided by the government to poor families…and viola, four heads are fed.

 

And also my sponsored child who lives in Hotan, Xinjiang, China and his family survive on RM50 a month…which works out to be RM1.66 a day. But their lifestyle is unenviable. There’s also a friend of mine who prefers to take a bus to work (I don’t like this idea at all because I hate smelling other people’s armpits whenever they raise their arms to hold the banister screwed to the ceiling of the bus!! Eugh!) instead of driving. He owns a very nice car (not your conventional Malaysian car, ok?) and keeps it safely at home while he jumps into a ‘sardine can’ every morning to work?

 

But my friend’s decision is actually very sensible. Sitting over cappuccino, he worked out how much he actually saved by taking the bus. He also worked out the many benefits of waking up early to catch the earliest possible bus, walking to the bus stop, reading while waiting for the bus, and getting home dog-tired and sleeping early…and I am like….mmmm….that’s interesting. On the flipside of having to cramp one’s body into a moving sardine can, you get to live a healthier and cheaper lifestyle. I guess if you looked at it that way, it is KINDA great to take the bus to work, huh?

 

Back to point in contention…..a price rise like this that affects the overall cost of living in a developing country like Malaysia is inevitable. We can’t stay cheap forever and change is unavoidable. But who says we have to smile while ‘change’ comes bossing us around every now and then.

I was reading the papers today (which is rare because I think newspaper is a bearer of bad news) and read something that struck me as ironic. Remember the song ‘ironic’ by Alanais Morisette some eons ago? That song about how you find a fly in your Chardonay, rain on your wedding day, a man who was afraid to die die in his first plane ride…etc?

 

Well, today, a cancer patient died on his way to the hospital. It’s probably like God telling him, “Hey, here’s a gift from me to you. Die quickly instead of slowly”.

 

Cancer, as we know, is a very slow and cruel killer. If one was to die, one would rather it be quick and relatively painless. Well, for it to be completely painless would have to mean that you die when you’re already dead. Make sense? No? Too bad. But the thing is that if human beings had a choice between dying of cancer or dying in a car accident, I suppose many would rather die in a car accident. Choi Kor Lei Tai Kat Lai See (Cantonese Touch Wood)…I know.

 

But suppose this man had a chance to live? I wonder what the report would say after the checkup? Would the doctor say, “Mr. so-and-so, sorry but we made a really stupid mistake. There’s nothing wrong with you. The report we gave you belongs to someone else”.

 

But I guess we’ll never know now since he’s dead before he made it for the checkup. Ironic, eh?

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.

"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did.
Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name?

Sir Winston Churchill. 
  
What goes around comes around.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.

Things I learnt after moving out of the safe confines of in-laws’ home and my own home.

 

1. When using plastic gloves to wash dishes, you lose the use of your touch (feel) faculty. Use eyes when washing dishes.

 

2. Dust is not only on your PC. Dust is EVERYWHERE.

 

3. Ants are hateful creatures. Worse than vultures! And worse yet, they are also very vengeful. Kill one hundred of their brothers (or sisters), a thousand of their kind will come raid your kitchen and dustbins. Thankfully, ants are not very smart creatures. They don’t know and can’t remember what a mortein (insect killer) can looks like.

 

4. It takes so painfully long to cook, and very short time to eat (spill, throw, stuff in fridge)

 

5. Each component in a cuisine (albeit dish) is delicately handcrafted by an art master. Read: Have to cut carrot, potato, onion, garlic, vegetable, and whateverelsethereisinthedumbdish each one individually one meh? Cannot cut all at one go?? Someone should design something like this.

 

6. There’s a very important reason why knives are made sharp – they CUT!!! Wash and use carefully.

 

7. Clothes don’t wash, dry, fold and return themselves to closet without human intervention

 

8. The toilet don’t flush, wash and clean itself. Keep soap at safe height.

 

9. One can actually get bored of canned food. (amazing discovery here. I thought we could actually feed the kids canned food until they are 18)

 

10. Food doesn’t grow in fridges and freezers.

I wonder if I am the only one on the planet that feels like holidays are…such a complete waste of time. Admittedly, I am one of those workaholics who cannot sit, stand, lie or squat still for a very long time. No, not a hyperactive person, but I do like being useful or doing something.

 

Therefore, holidays are always a bore to me. Strangely enough, when I was in school, I would end up going to school just to play or practice something. You know, in school, we always have this extra-curricular stuff going at one point or the other. And when I was working, I would end up spending more hours in the office during holidays than during the normal working days! Strange creature…me.

 

And it’s no different now that I am a mother and freelancer.

 

Having the kids home with me all the time is god-send. I mean, this is what I want – to have them with me and I have all the time in the world to spend with them, tickle them and play catch with them, enjoy their laughter and also to break up their fights. But heck, when in the world is the holiday going to end??!!! I have to get them out of my hair soon otherwise, I am never going to get any work done at all!

 

Sadly, even during the Chinese New Year, when just about every single Chinese in the world is taking a holiday or enjoying themselves, I am here, mulling over websites, articles and brochures!

 

Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t like holidays?

 

In fact, I spend so much more money during the holidays because I have to take the kids out all the time – they get bored pretty easily sitting at home, it seems. So, there we go strolling aimlessly around every shopping mall nearby and breaking every see saw and swing in every garden we find, stuffing our faces with pizzas, spaghettis, lasagnas and other out-of-the-budget food during the holidays is….well, something I can do without.

 

I can’t wait for school to start so that they can have their life back (they might disagree with me) and get off Astro Playhouse Disney and Cartoon Network and I can get some things done here. Otherwise, my clients are going to have my sorry behind for dinner!

The extra couple of hours of sleep, it seems, may not be the best thing for your body, I’ve just discovered. Why am I interested in the topic of sleep?

 

1. I suspect that my kids lack sleep (Joshua’s dark under-eye circle and Jared’s constant yawning could have something to do with it

 

2. My inability to wake up in the morning in time to send my kids to school on time could ALSO have increased my interest in the topic of sleep.

 

It seems that Eskimos sometimes sleep for 14 hours a day. Lucky them, I get something like 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night…if I am lucky. Sometimes, I have endure a full day with 3 hours or no sleep at all per day! And like they say, while no sleep is no good for the body, the Eskimos may not be leading all-that-healthy a lifestyle either.

 

Everything done is excess is no good and without a smidgen of doubt, if you don’t get enough of something (vitamins, food, water or sleep) it’s also detrimental to the mind and the body. Therefore, it’s important for kids to get about 10 hours of sleep and adults 8 hours of sleep per day. But Napoleon said that a man needs 6 hours of sleep, a woman need 7 hours of sleep and a fool needs 8. So, you decide.

 

And the most amazing thing is that most of us think that we are getting enough sleep because we can function during work. but researches in the US takes on a different view. They seem to think that the reason why people tend to sleep longer hours during weekends or holidays is because they are sleep-deprived during the week day – which is logical, if you ask me. Therefore, you start yawning while driving, it’s your body telling you that you need to spend more time sleeping.

 

During Victorian times, people used to think that sleeping 8 hours = idleness and laziness. During those times, men sleep 6 hours and women tend to sleep about 15 or 30 minutes more than men. It’s an acceptable fact that women sleep a little bit longer than men although they, during those times, are required to do less work (yeah, like housework is not really work, right? Bah!)

 

And preschoolers? It’s funny that my kids still continue to take naps even when they’re already BOTH attending preschool. I’ve read somewhere that preschoolers typically need about 10 – 12 hours a night! My goodness, then I have been doing everything wrong! Joshua and Jared sleeps at about 12 midnight and then wakes up about 8 in the morning. Which works out to be 8 hours of sleep a night. No wonder they still need an afternoon nap. By Western standards, I am probably a terrible parent! But I do intend to turn this around. soon, I will be reducing their afternoon nap to nothing and getting them to bed about 10 so that they can wake up bright and smiley in the morning. In fact, experts think that we can replace afternoon naps with a little bit of quiet time or reading…and maybe just lying down on a mat, listening to music or watching a little bit of educational TV. Hhhhmmm….I’ll try to work this one in.

 

And that works for me too. People who’ve lived with me know that I have this problem going to sleep and waking up. The funny thing is that even if I had enough sleep for a night, I STILL have problems waking up in the morning. I give the saying ‘Sleeping Like A Log’ a brand new meaning. My mother-in-law, mother and grandmother used to say that I sleep like the DEAD.

 

But all this is about to change. I no longer have the maids and my mother-in-law thumping over my leg and face to wake me in the morning so that I can send the kids to school. I only have the alarm clock that I can’t hear (the clock is really loud, by the way) to wake me.

If girls, particularly teenagers, are allowed to idolize female singers or actresses, how come male are called FAGS and other unkind names when they tell others that they idolize a particular male singer or actor? Females can obsess over female idols and yet when males do it, they get the ‘eye’, you know what I mean?

 

I idolize female singers and actresses all the time, young or old alike and shamefully, I visit some forums on these actresses too – just to find out inside news about these people. Nosy Parker but I am not a lesbian. In fact, even if I WAS a lesbian, what in the world is wrong with that? Lots of people are like that and we should never be judged because of our sexual preference. I like Angelina Jolie, Michelle Yip, Maggie Cheung Man Yuk, Charmaine Seh, Charlize Theron….blah blah blah…does THAT make me a lesbian.

 

I think it’s wrong for people to think that it’s OK for girls/females to have idols and whenever a male have a male idol, they’re not straight. My husband used to ADORE George Michael (who happens to be gay, just a coincidence, I assure you) when he was young. He collected all CDs, posters and everything he could get his hands on and I personally don’t think that gay-ish. I think it’s called modeling after someone you admire. Admiring someone is always good and always natural.

 

And besides, I feel very strongly about people who have prejudicial thoughts against Gays and Lesbians. It’s not their fault that they are attracted to the same sex! They have no control over this. I can say this very frankly because I used to be very good friends with guys who are gays. In fact, I had a crush on one of them, he told me he was gay and then we became sort of bestfriends! Seriously. He confided in me his problems with the REST OF THE WORLD who considers him a queer (including his own parents) and treats him coldly and unkindly. I think it’s unfair.

 

I am strong believer of ‘personal choice’. in this case, whether a person likes the opposite sex or the same sex, it’s not our business to judge. It’s their inborn preference. And as mentioned, they don’t have any control over it. You cannot simply tell yourself to like the opposite sex and viola, you like the opposite sex? You don’t have a treatment for these kind of things. it’s inborn. It’s hormonal. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s God. I don’t mean to be disrespectful but hey, he’s our maker and he gives us whatever we have today. There must be a reason why he did the things he did, the way he did it, right?

 

And back to the point, males can have and should have male idols too. I mean, this is part and parcel of life and it’s natural. When I admire a male actor or singer, I think he’ll look good in my bed (AHEM!!! Cough, Cough!). If I admire a female singer or actress, I like her and wish that I can be like her (or whatever she projects to the rest of the world), I respect her and thinks she rocks.

 

Plain and simple. So, if this rule applies to the females, why not males?

I am a mess. No, not mess as in mess but messy as in messy. Ppphhhttt, as if THAT made sense but I loathe the idea of calling myself messy so I will settle for calling myself ‘organized in a messy way’.

There.

Since I am going to be moving out to my own place next week (my grandmother found the PERFECT lucky date to move, so, there’s really no escaping. Unless I like the feeling of having a knife in my rear end planted there by well-meaning elderly people in my family – BOTH sides), I thought I’d write a little about housework, mundane and pain-in-the-butt chores like picking up your own clothes, doing your own laundry, sweeping your own floor, mopping the damn floor, wiping and dusting tabletops and computer tops and TVs and….see, I get even get TIRED writing about it. Plus, I have this sinus problem that makes it impossible for me to sweep or dust anything without popping a few blood vessels in my nostrils.

I’ve used my sinus problem as an excuse quite successfully over this lifetime but I guess I will no longer have a choice when I move out without my maid in tow.

Yeah, I have a maid but we’re leaving the maid with my mother-in-law since I am younger, more energetic and supposedly more able than her. Sometimes I question this logic. She may be older but if you look at my mother-in-law, you’ll see that apart from creaking knees, she moves without much effort around the house. In fact, she runs faster than me! But since all the families congregate in my mother-in-law’s place (my current residence) everyday, it would make sense to leave the maid here instead of having to get another maid and contend with another full-blown ‘How can this maid be so dense not to understand what ‘’o-oi’ and ‘mum-mum’ mean?’ problem. They don’t teach maids our baby-language (which they should, by the way) as in mum-mum means eat, shee-shee means pee, mm-mm means big business in toilet, o-oi means sleep…etc.

I think housework is a stupid chore. Why can’t we live in organized clutter? I mean, isn’t it OK if we all know where things are and where the broom, the mouse, the speaker phone, the handphone charger and the fork and spoons are? Isn’t that enough already? Do we have to live in hotel-like environment in order to function? Isn’t it enough that we have clean clothes to wear, half-decent shoes to put over our feet, and a home that does not smell like the insides of an ashtray? If not, then let's all move to Hyatt Saujana or something.

I mean, let’s look at it this way…you wipe, mop, sweet, vacuum…and whatever else it is that you do to a home….tonight, you go to sleep in a this sterile environment feeling extremely proud of yourself and then you wake up in the morning and there’s dust everywhere. DUST, DUST, DUST!! It’s frustrating because you’ve worked so hard to keep the place clean and then all you get is a night sleep without enjoying the cleanliness at all! Why bother?

My table is the messiest place in any place that I live or work. In the bank I used to work, I heard the receptionist say to my client when he came to visit me, “There, see the table with four piles of files stacked up on the front of the table? That’s Marsha’s table” You can’t see me coming in from the door because the files form a sort of protective wall from public eye. Eh, I like it this way, ok? But my office mates laugh at me and my boss asked me if I had enough space to write anything when I pile everything on top of my table and I say, “Sure”. But in the end, they got me a special second table where I pile MORE files on top of it. The extra table did not help me clear the original table but instead, I built a longer wall of files!

It is ironic that when I was living with my parents, I shared a bedroom with my sister. Now, she’s someone who is totally opposite of me! I couldn’t care less and she cares about everything - sad to say, she’s my YOUNGER sister. I make a mess, she cleans up. She puts her toiletries in organized compartments, mine can be found under the toilet bowl. She organizes her perfumes and lotions in sections, mine can be found dumped inside my underwear drawer. In fact, she’s so meticulous that she used to iron my school uniform when we were in school!! She complained but my mom has given up asking me to do the task because I was never home, anyway.

Now that I am married, my HUSBAND has taken over the role. He is the kind of person who WANTS and NEEDS to stay in a hotel-like home and don’t want to lift a finger to do anything! Therefore, in my personal, opinion, he should just take his ass to Indonesia and find himself a bride there! Harumph! Accordingly, many Indonesian women know how to clean a home (any home) with their eyes closed.

And as I was saying, housework is tedious and mindless. Why do housework when you know that everything is going to be messed up again – especially if you have kids? You put their toys back into their organized toy boxes with special labels, and the next minute they are everywhere again. Why bother folding the blankets and comforters when you know they’re going to be used again tonight? Why bother mopping when you know one of the kids are going to spill their VITAGENS on the floor again?

But even if my own personal space is cluttered, I have to keep the rest of the place clean and as organized as I possibly can. In other words, I will clean every other spaces that affects others. When it comes to my own space, leave it alone! I like the organized mess that I am living in right now.

Written in jest, of course. Sometimes, I DO wish someone would clean my mess up for me......any takers?

House cleaning tips

 

House-cleaning schedule (there’s a SCHEDULE??)

 

Springcleaning

 

Getting organized

 

Cleaning up after pets (Urgh!)

 

Marsha
www.marshamaung.com