Marsha Maung:: Freelance graphic designer and writer

I wonder if I am the only one on the planet that feels like holidays are…such a complete waste of time. Admittedly, I am one of those workaholics who cannot sit, stand, lie or squat still for a very long time. No, not a hyperactive person, but I do like being useful or doing something.

 

Therefore, holidays are always a bore to me. Strangely enough, when I was in school, I would end up going to school just to play or practice something. You know, in school, we always have this extra-curricular stuff going at one point or the other. And when I was working, I would end up spending more hours in the office during holidays than during the normal working days! Strange creature…me.

 

And it’s no different now that I am a mother and freelancer.

 

Having the kids home with me all the time is god-send. I mean, this is what I want – to have them with me and I have all the time in the world to spend with them, tickle them and play catch with them, enjoy their laughter and also to break up their fights. But heck, when in the world is the holiday going to end??!!! I have to get them out of my hair soon otherwise, I am never going to get any work done at all!

 

Sadly, even during the Chinese New Year, when just about every single Chinese in the world is taking a holiday or enjoying themselves, I am here, mulling over websites, articles and brochures!

 

Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t like holidays?

 

In fact, I spend so much more money during the holidays because I have to take the kids out all the time – they get bored pretty easily sitting at home, it seems. So, there we go strolling aimlessly around every shopping mall nearby and breaking every see saw and swing in every garden we find, stuffing our faces with pizzas, spaghettis, lasagnas and other out-of-the-budget food during the holidays is….well, something I can do without.

 

I can’t wait for school to start so that they can have their life back (they might disagree with me) and get off Astro Playhouse Disney and Cartoon Network and I can get some things done here. Otherwise, my clients are going to have my sorry behind for dinner!

I don’t know how they do it. I spend 99% of my time with them, watch them cuddle together on the couch watching Playhouse Disney and then the next moment, they’re trying to dismember each other! I just don’t know how they do it! They love each other to….erm…..life…and yet, they try to punch out each others’ teeth the next. I am talking about both my joys and boys…Joshua and Jared.

 

By virtue of the fact that they were born on the same date and also only 2 year apart, they practically share everything and have LOADS of things in common but why oh why do they have to fight about everything? They fight about who gets to choose the last book for me to read at night. They fight about who gets to use the green spoon. Funnily, the green spoon was not all that popular to begin with. It only began when Jared said that he liked the green Power Ranger and he wanted to use the green spoon to commemorate the green Power Ranger that he adored….and that is also precisely when Joshua started to think that the green spoon (and Power Ranger) was indeed pretty cool too.

 

Oh, but my boys don’t always fight all that much – only almost all the time. Joshua would be building his dominos (he’s really patient with these things) and Jared the destroyer would trot along with Ultraman in hand, and knocks his whol domino setup to bits and pieces. Needless to say, Joshua would be crying Red murder and Jared would claim innocence. “But Ultraman is trying to save people. He kills monsters” and Joshua cries harder. “There are no monsters, mom!!!”

 

I don’t know how they can be so cute and adorable at the same time? Kids have this talent, I believe.

 

Joshua would be so sensible and logical sometimes that I would like to think he was mature. But then he proves me wrong the next minute by kicking up a fuss about something as trivial as using the wrong colored bowl. Josh is really sweet and logical most of the time. And perhaps it’s because he’s got my temperamental genes that he’s not able to keep his temper and anger under check all the time. After all he’s only 6 and I am like….30+++++…and I still have trouble controlling my own temperament. So, why should I expect him to perform better than me, right?

 

As for Jared, I don’t know what to say. He’s the absolute cutie pie who knows exactly how to win your heart without much effort. If he did something wrong, he knows exactly what to say to get back into my good books – no doubt about that. He could have knocked my precious vase over – he would look at furious me, shuffle his feet, pout, squint a few tears in his eyes and say “Oops. I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident” and I would have given him all the cookies in the world.

 

I don’t know if they do it consciously as well – but they both always like opposite things. Joshua likes to cover himself with a blanket from head to toe before he would sleep, Jared hates the blanket and would have slept naked if I allowed him to. Jared like cookies while Joshua prefers Oreos. Jared like rice while Joshua likes noodles. Joshua likes sketching while Jared likes coloring.

 

But I have to say that watching them grow up is pretty….erm…interesting, if not challenging. Sometimes I have to literally slap myself across the face and say, “They’re not the same person – you have to love them differently and yet the same”. They have their own individual characters that is just shining through so brightly that sometimes, as a parent, I am overwhelmed.

 

I, therefore, cannot understand why some people prefer not to raise their own kids. It baffles me completely! There’s nothing more precious than the time that I have spent single-handedly raising, nurturing, guiding, teaching, parenting, mothering, caring for and LOVING these two monsters.

 

I SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY wouldn’t have it any other way. I wonder why some people can’t see how wonderful the parenting experience actually is….it’s their loss, really.

 

By the time they miss it, it’s too late.

It’s the new year, the end of holidays for Malaysian kids and the beginning of a harrowing experience for new students – and the teachers! You won’t envy their job at the beginning of the year – especially if they’re teaching NURSERY.


Anyway, under normal circumstance, Jared is quite independent although sometimes quite clinghy, but he’s adapted to his school environment and understands the concept of ‘mommy coming back for you later’.

But the sad thing is that while he has adapted to his old school, he’s in a new school this year. We’re moving to a new condo this month (probably mid or end of the month) and it would be more convenient for both Joshua and Jared to attend the same school. Hence, I’ve taken Jared out from his old school and both my boys are enrolled with the same school.

I know I half expected Jared to accept the fact that he’s in a new school with new teachers and new friends easily…but that was naïve and wishful thinking. He cried and bawled senselessly and refused to quite down. The moment I said, “Mommy will come back for you later, ok?”, he would grab my thigh and cling dramatically to my leg.

But I’ve seen Joshua do this before and Jared wasn’t exactly easy going when he first started school, so, I know for a fact that you have to be cruel in order to be kind. You see, I remember the second day of Joshua’s school year (first time entering school and all) where he was thrashing around on the floor of the kindergarten when I tried to leave. His teacher tried to pick him up and he gave his teacher a nasty bonk on the nose! But the teachers assured me that he will be alright in 5 minutes. I wasn’t too sure. I stuck around outside, playing pink panther hiding behind trees and slides, spying on the status of my little boy in school.

Well, Joshua can throw a worse tantrum that any other kid I know, so, I was worried the teacher was going to peg him to the door by the back of his uniform or something. But none of that happened, of course. What actually happened was that, I spent approximately 10 minutes in hiding outside watching his eyes, nose and ears turn red with crying and then suddenly, like something snapped, he stopped, looked around and realized that HECK, mom’s stopped coming in the door….so…..the drama can stop too.

And with amazement, I watched as he colored stuff. Occasionally, he turned around towards the door and the teacher stops him. He sniffs and cries pitifully again but then always resumes his position and started doing some work again. That was the second day. He cried a total of 1 hour, I think. The third day, he cried all of ten minutes and even sang some songs. The fourth day, he sniffed at the door but waved goodbye as I drove away. And the fifth day…is history. When I changed him to a new school, he didn’t really cry either.

Jared, on the other hand, is a little bit younger than Joshua when the transition was made. Yesterday was traumatic because I hung around. Today, I went in, took him to class, spent 2 minutes reassuring him that I will be back and then just left. I heard his bawling and his ‘I want to go home!’ and ‘I want my mommy!’ but decidedly and purposefully walked out of the door.

In the case of first day of school jitters, let me issue a reminder to all parents – make the life of the teachers and the children easier. The longer you hang around, the worse it will be. Trust me, the moment you turn around, they’re going to adapt.

A very sordid scenario and example of how to be CRUEL in order to be KIND. If you love your child and want him to stop crying, turn around, walk out of the door, shut your ears and then don’t look back.

Oh, you can promise gifts and presents if you want but- after school and if there’s no crying. Works every time!!!