Marsha Maung:: Freelance graphic designer and writer

First, read this. It’s an excerpt from Sure Signs you’re the mother of boys by Sharon O’Donnell. I am quite picky about who I like as a writer and for me, Sharon O’Donnell has this way of writing that either touches you or tickles you. Everything that she writes about parenting and being a mother is so true that it makes you want to cry!

Excerpts from: Sure Signs You’re the Mother of Boys

by Sharon O’Donnell

• you find Power Ranger parts under your sofa. Sometimes your vacuum cleaner finds them first.

• your weekend schedule includes more total hours of little league sports than it does sleep

• they think PMS is the new Play Station video game system

• you have to chase down the playful family dog to retrieve your son’s jock strap

• the most romantic movie you’ve watched in the last five years is DieHard II

• you have to arrange two weeks ahead of time to take a bubble bath – and then must lock the door and scream “I’m in the tub – ask Dad!” every three minutes.

I not only find Power Ranger parts under the sofa, I find it in my underwear drawer, in the fridge in the wok and many other unimaginable places. And I have not been able to find the time to sit down to plan the next five minutes….a bath? Out of the question!! The only bath I get these days is in the condo pool. And I don’t think they allow red wine there….

Excerpt article taken from crimelibrary.com
For entire article, click here

Monstrous Mothers
"We're still blaming mothers." - Joyce Flint, Dahmer's mother

It all seems to begin or end with Mother. Henry Lee Lucas launched his murderous career by killing his mom; Ed Kemper ended his by killing his mom. Even the Shakespearian multiple murderer Hamlet had an unnatural obsession with his mother's sexuality. "Serial murderers are frequently found to have unusual or unnatural relationships with their mothers," notes Steven Egger in his book The Killers Among Us. In our culture, the imposing image of "Mother" looms large in our collective psyches, and some writers easily accept that these killers are lashing out at maternal tyranny. If these murderers are still dominated by Mother (Hitchcock's Norman Bates is the archetype), then it is easy to dismiss them as "mama's boys" who never fully matured. Perhaps we find comfort in this cliche -- the mother is a readymade excuse, particularly in our contemporary era of obsessive parenting. Yet, as we look at some of the techniques of the serial killers' mothers, we are inclined to see a deadly link between the womb and the tomb.

Marsha’s take
I have to admit that I agree with the above observation and is keen to conclude that mothers (as opposed to fathers) play a foundational and defining role in the life and growth of a child. Most criminals cite disparity or discouragement from their mothers which grew into hatred or abnormal behavior.

Which scares me…..

There’s so much pressure to perform as a mother that sometimes you don’t know what to do anymore. Should we, mothers, be strict or lenient? If we are strict, we might over-pressure them. If we are too lenient, we might spoil them or raise an overconfident child. (Murderous monsters are sometimes OVERconfident). Should we punish them or let things slide? If we punish them, they might become vengeful or hateful. If we let things slide, they might think that it’s easy to get away with…no pun intended…murder.

The role of a mother
I’ve often said that the role of the mother is a nurturer, caretaker, love-giver, wound-kisser, bubble-blower and cheerleader. There are many other types of roles that a mother has to take on too in real life, but in my eyes, these are the most important roles that a mother has to take on. And they are BIG roles.

Sometimes I sit back and think about the punishments that I’ve meted out on my own children and wonder if I’ve SPOILT the whole thing. I desperately want to raise a good child, a loving, caring, confident, law-abiding, successful child…but the pressure is to high and hot all the time.

What about the role of a dad?

The role of the dad
The conventional role of a father is to be the breadwinner. He is often described as a distant figure that the children don’t know very well. He surfs the TV, sits around watching TV or reading the papers after dinner while mother clamors around cleaning up and basically doing everything at the whim and fancy of father and children. The father sometimes drinks, goes in and out of the house as he likes. The father is also sometimes described as abusive and strict people who talks and listens very little in the house.

Although this picture is not entirely correct in this modern age and era, I find that in Asian households, this picture, while may not be 100% accurate, hits quite close to the mark. The father, despite their minor role in the familial setting, affects the child’s performance in school, hobbies, happiness, interests, and ability to love others unconditionally.

Therefore, if the father DID play a larger role in the lives of their children, the children stand a better chance of being successful and building strong and long-lasting relationships with others.